U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
