I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
