i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
