So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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