it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
