Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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