so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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