i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
