I smell stomach acid.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
