I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My feet surprised me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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