Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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