Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
