WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize