The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
