Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
