Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
