He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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