He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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