either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
