I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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