I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Nicole vs. Life
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
