i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
