I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize