your parents love me but you hate me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Someone signed my nipple.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
