This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Vodka?
Forever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
