my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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