You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
