The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize