the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She needs sedatives and a leash
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
