A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
