But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize