I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
