Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize