i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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