I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Everything about him screamed your future.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
im on a boat
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