He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize