Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
