with your own penis?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
