I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Randomize
