You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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