The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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