They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
