I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize