You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to make a zoo with you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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