Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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