Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
