the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize
