hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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