she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
