So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
