she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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