I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
