if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
