I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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