he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
as a side note pls kill me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
