that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
