Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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