I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Shame - the story of my life.
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