she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
