My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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