New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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