It's like God shit irony all over that family
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
