We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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