my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
