I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize