just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
