you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
