He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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