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Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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