ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
